You don’t need to
exactly know
what it’s about.
Examples of questions you can bring.
Less desire for sex
You notice you feel less desire than you’d like, or that sex feels more like an obligation than something enjoyable.
Read more →Difference in desire
You and your partner differ in how much need you have for sex or physical closeness.
Read more →Pain during sex
You experience pain, tension or discomfort during sex, penetration or touch, and want to understand what plays a part in it.
Read more →Arousal or orgasm
Getting or staying aroused doesn’t happen the way you want, or you worry that you come too quickly or find it hard to come at all.
Read more →Insecurity or performance pressure
You’re stuck in your head a lot during sex, feel shame, or notice that performing has become more important than feeling.
Read more →Talking about sex
You want to be better at talking about wishes, boundaries or desires, but don’t quite know how to start that conversation.
Read more →Your question doesn’t have to
fit anywhere exactly.
Sexuality is often bound up with your body, thoughts, feelings, experiences and relationship, all at once. Together we work out what’s going on and what helps you further. Doubt, curiosity or something you can’t quite name is reason enough to email.
Not sure? Email anyway →When are you not in the right place here?
I want you to be in the right place with me. Sometimes that’s not the case, and then you deserve an honest answer rather than an intake that leads nowhere.
Acute crisis
Are you currently having thoughts of suicide with immediate danger, or going through a crisis? Contact your GP, the crisis service, or call 113. That comes before anything else.
Untreated addiction
If substance use is the biggest problem in your life right now, my practice isn’t the right place. That first needs attention from addiction care.
Severe personality problems
This often requires specialised, multidisciplinary mental health care. Already in treatment for this? Then sex therapy can sometimes run alongside it, in consultation with your practitioner.
Severe, unprocessed trauma
With PTSD, for example, it’s often better to do trauma therapy first. After that, or sometimes alongside it, sex therapy can be very valuable.
Active eating disorder
With anorexia nervosa, for example, my practice isn’t the right place. That first requires specialised treatment.
Criminal sexual behaviour
Is there criminal sexual behaviour, for example transgressive behaviour towards someone else? Then my practice isn’t the right place. That requires specialised, forensic care.
Physical complaints, not yet examined
Do you have, for example, pain that hasn’t been medically checked yet? Have this looked at first by your GP, gynaecologist or pelvic floor physiotherapist. Often sex therapy can run alongside it afterwards.
Not sure whether this applies to you? Feel free to email, and we’ll discuss whether it’s a good fit.
Does your question fit in somewhere here?
Still unsure, or does nothing fit exactly? Email anyway. Often it only becomes clear during the conversation itself.
Email praktijk@deseksuoloog.nl no boxes, just an email