You don’t need to
exactly know
what it’s about.

Questions I can help with

Sexuality touches your body, your mind, your relationship and your past, often all at once. Below are a few recognisable themes, but your question doesn’t have to fit any box.

Send an email See the themes ↓

Themes

Examples of questions you can bring.

Less desire for sex

You notice you feel less desire than you’d like, or that sex feels more like an obligation than something enjoyable.

Difference in desire

You and your partner differ in how much need you have for sex or physical closeness.

Pain during sex

You experience pain, tension or discomfort during sex, penetration or touch, and want to understand what plays a part in it.

Arousal or orgasm

Getting or staying aroused doesn’t happen the way you want, or you worry that you come too quickly or find it hard to come at all.

Insecurity or performance pressure

You’re stuck in your head a lot during sex, feel shame, or notice that performing has become more important than feeling.

Talking about sex

You want to be better at talking about wishes, boundaries or desires, but don’t quite know how to start that conversation.

Erectile problems

An erection doesn’t come, doesn’t last or fades as soon as things get exciting, and you want to understand what plays a part in it.

Premature ejaculation

You come sooner than you’d like and feel as if you have little control over it.

Vaginismus

Penetration doesn’t work or is very painful because your body tenses up, even when you do want it.

Sex after childbirth

Sex feels different since the birth, or isn’t happening at all for a while, and you’re looking for a new rhythm together.

Sex and menopause

Your desire, your arousal or how sex feels has changed since menopause.

Fantasies and kinks

You have fantasies or preferences you’re curious or unsure about, and you want to explore or talk about them.

LGBTQIA+ and sexuality

You’re looking for a place where questions about sex, orientation or identity are welcome, without having to explain everything first.

No fixed boxes

Your question doesn’t have to
fit anywhere exactly.

Sexuality is often bound up with your body, thoughts, feelings, experiences and relationship, all at once. Together we work out what’s going on and what helps you further. Doubt, curiosity or something you can’t quite name is reason enough to email.

Not sure? Email anyway →

Honesty up front

When are you not in the right place here?

I want you to be in the right place with me. Sometimes that’s not the case, and then you deserve an honest answer rather than an intake that leads nowhere.

Acute crisis

Are you currently having thoughts of suicide with immediate danger, or going through a crisis? Contact your GP, the crisis service, or call 113. That comes before anything else.

Untreated addiction

If substance use is the biggest problem in your life right now, my practice isn’t the right place. That first needs attention from addiction care.

Severe personality problems

This often requires specialised, multidisciplinary mental health care. Already in treatment for this? Then sex therapy can sometimes run alongside it, in consultation with your practitioner.

Severe, unprocessed trauma

With PTSD, for example, it’s often better to do trauma therapy first. After that, or sometimes alongside it, sex therapy can be very valuable.

Active eating disorder

With anorexia nervosa, for example, my practice isn’t the right place. That first requires specialised treatment.

Criminal sexual behaviour

Is there criminal sexual behaviour, for example transgressive behaviour towards someone else? Then my practice isn’t the right place. That requires specialised, forensic care.

Physical complaints, not yet examined

Do you have, for example, pain that hasn’t been medically checked yet? Have this looked at first by your GP, gynaecologist or pelvic floor physiotherapist. Often sex therapy can run alongside it afterwards.

Not sure whether this applies to you? Feel free to email, and we’ll discuss whether it’s a good fit.

Does your question fit in somewhere here?

Still unsure, or does nothing fit exactly? Email anyway. Often it only becomes clear during the conversation itself.

Email praktijk@deseksuoloog.nl no boxes, just an email

You don’t need to exactly know what it’s about.