Talking about sex
is healthy.
Really.
↑ hi, I’m Maaike
Less desire than you’d like. Pain where pleasure should be. A mind that won’t switch off during sex. These are the most common reasons people email me. And none of them is strange.
Sessions are usually online; in person is possible in Tilburg. No referral or waiting list.
Sound familiar?
You’re really not the only one.
Questions about sex are incredibly normal. Almost everyone runs into them at some point. But hardly anyone talks about them. That’s exactly what I’m here for.
Recognise any of these?That’s reason enough to send an email.You don’t have to solve it on your own first.
Sex isn’t a performance.
It can just feel good, too.
Insecurity, a bad experience, a body that won’t cooperate, or tension in your relationship: any of it can get in the way. I don’t just look at what’s difficult, but above all at what’s already possible. Together we write a new sexual script: one that fits you. Or the two of you.
Get to know meConcrete, warm and no fuss.I look beyond the complaint alone: your body, thoughts, relationship and experiences all play a part. And you always go home with something you can use.
You set the pace
You choose what comes up. Nothing has to happen straight away, and nothing has to happen in the first session.
Anything can be said
From “we never have sex any more” to a fantasy you’ve never said out loud. Without judgement, without a raised eyebrow.
Focus on what does work
Problems get attention, but above all we build on what’s already going well. That works faster and feels better.
Homework that doesn’t feel like homework
Practical exercises and tips you can put into practice that same week, on your own or together.
What you’d want to know before emailing
Where do the sessions take place?
Usually online, simply from your own sofa with a cup of tea. In person is possible at the practice in Tilburg, close to Tilburg Centraal station. That’s also easy to reach from the surrounding area, and by train from Breda, Den Bosch and Eindhoven. Evening appointments are also possible online.
Do I need a referral?
No. You email, we schedule, done. No GP or waiting list needed.
Is it covered by my health insurance?
No, sessions with me are not covered by Dutch health insurance. You pay €85 per session yourself. The upside: you don’t need a referral or a diagnosis, and nothing is shared with your insurer or GP.
Do I come alone or with my partner?
Either works. Sex often happens within a relationship. If you have a partner, I therefore often recommend coming together, or involving your partner later in the process. First working out what you feel on your own is just as good a start.
How many sessions do I need?
Sometimes a few sessions are enough, sometimes you work together for longer. We decide that together, not in advance.
What if I don’t really know how to explain it?
Then you’re exactly where you should be. Finding words for this kind of thing is literally what we work on together. A few sentences in your email is enough.
What does a conversation cost, and how long does it take?
An intake or follow-up conversation costs € 85. I reserve a 60-minute block: we talk for 50 to 60 minutes, and I use the rest for wrapping up and my notes. An intake with your partner takes 90 minutes and costs € 127.50. If a lot is going on, or you would like more time, you can also ask for an extended 90-minute intake, which also costs € 127.50.
What if I need to reschedule or cancel?
That happens. Up to 24 hours beforehand, rescheduling or cancelling is free. After that you pay 50% of the fee, also if you reschedule; the new appointment is charged separately. If you don’t show up and I don’t hear from you, you pay the full fee.
How do you write up our conversations?
I want to give you my full attention during our conversation. That’s why I work with speech support: the conversation is captured temporarily, so an AI service can create a draft report. The audio is deleted as soon as the draft is ready, and I always read the report through myself. This is part of how I work, and you agree to it when you book. If you’d rather not, I unfortunately can’t support you, but I’m happy to think along about another practitioner. You can read more in my privacy statement (in Dutch).
The first step is an email.
Nothing more.
You don’t have to phrase your question perfectly. “I’m running into something and I’d like to talk about it” is more than enough.
Email praktijk@deseksuoloog.nl I read everything myself, and reply within 1 to 3 working days