Sex after childbirth.

Sex therapy & guidance

Your body has changed, your nights are short and everything revolves around feeds and nappies. It’s completely normal for sex after giving birth to feel different, or not to happen at all for a while. Yet hardly anyone talks about it.

When you’ve suddenly
become parents.

After giving birth, a lot changes at once. Your body is recovering, your hormones fluctuate and breastfeeding can make your vagina drier than usual. Add broken nights and the feeling that you’ve been touched all day long, and desire for sex is often the first thing to go.

A lot can change for the partner who didn’t give birth, too. You’re now parents together, not just each other’s lovers. A difference in desire that used to be small can suddenly feel very big.

You might recognise:

Pain, or fear of pain, the first time again
No desire, or the feeling that your body isn’t yours for a while
Dryness from breastfeeding or hormones
No need for touch left at the end of the day
A birth that felt intense or even traumatic
A difference in desire that suddenly feels big

Also read about less desire for sex and difference in desire.

“There’s no deadline for when sex has to be ‘normal’ again. But there is a way back to intimacy that fits your new life.”

Many people feel pressure to have “normal” sex again after the postnatal check-up. But recovery has no fixed date, and sex after childbirth doesn’t have to look the same as before. Guidance helps you find a new rhythm, without guilt on either side.

How I work

Starting again, without rushing. We look at your body, at your relationship and at everything that has happened recently.

Getting the physical side checked first

Does pain persist, or are you worried about your recovery? Then first have your midwife, GP or a pelvic floor physiotherapist take a look. That can easily run alongside our conversations.

Closeness without expectations

We look for forms of touch and intimacy that don’t immediately have to lead to sex. That takes the pressure off, for both of you.

Room for the birth itself

Was the birth intense? Then that deserves space too. If you notice it keeps haunting you, we’ll look together at whether additional help is needed.

On your own or together

Often together, sometimes on your own first.

Sex after childbirth is usually about both of you. Still, it can be good to tell your own story first.

Starting on your own

Nice if you first want to work out what you feel and need, without having to take your partner into account.

or

Together with your partner

Valuable for seeing each other as lovers again, and not just as the team getting through the nights together.

Ready to find
each other again?

An online session can simply take place from home, even while the baby sleeps. A few sentences in an email is enough to start.

Email praktijk@deseksuoloog.nl no babysitter needed