Less desire for sex.
When desire no longer
comes naturally.
Less desire for sex can feel very different for everyone. Perhaps you barely feel any spontaneous desire any more. Perhaps you do want intimacy, but not sex. Or perhaps you notice you mainly have sex so as not to disappoint the other person.
Sometimes this creates tension in your relationship. One wants closeness more often, the other withdraws. Before you know it, it’s no longer only about sex, but also about rejection, guilt, insecurity or distance.
You might recognise:
“Desire doesn’t arise separately from your life. Your body, your mind, your relationship and your experiences all play a part.”
That’s why in sex therapy we don’t only look at the complaint, but also at the context. What holds desire back? What actually creates space? And what do you, or the two of you, need to make sexuality feel less loaded again?
We don’t look for blame, but for understanding. Less desire for sex is rarely one simple problem with one simple solution. It’s often about patterns, expectations, pressure, safety, communication, how you experience your body, and space to feel what you want yourself.
Calm instead of pressure
We explore how sex can feel less like an obligation or performance, so there’s more room again for relaxation and curiosity.
Putting words to what you feel
You don’t have to have it all clear already. Together we look for language for what you miss, find exciting, need, or no longer want.
Looking at connection anew
Sometimes the first step isn’t about more sex, but about more safety, closeness, playfulness or honesty within yourself or your relationship.
You’re welcome to come on your own, but together is also possible.
Sexuality often plays out within a relational dynamic. That’s why it can help to come together, but that doesn’t always have to be straight away.
Starting on your own
Can be nice if you first want to explore what you feel, what you’re running into or what you need. There’s room for your story, without having to explain it to your partner right away.
Together with your partner
Can help if tension, distance or a difference in desire has arisen. We then don’t look at who’s right, but at the pattern between you and what’s needed within it.
Want to explore
what’s going on?
You don’t have to know exactly why you have less desire for sex. A first conversation can actually help to get an overview together and see what suits you or the two of you.
Email praktijk@deseksuoloog.nl no question is too small